The Gay Gnani of Gingalee; or Discords of Devolution Read online

  CHAPTER I.

  "_Philosophers Deride, Fools Investigate_."

  PROPHET AND PROFIT.

  "But my profession," pleaded the slim and pallid youth who stoodwistfully eyeing the Soda Fountain. "You forget, my friend, that thevows of a Guru forbid such diffusion of force and waste of magnetismas occur in meeting those not of The Path."

  "Tommy-rot!" bawled young Mr. Vanderhook as he continued to polish thealready glittering faucet. "You've not seen her, and you hear me,there is only one in the box and what's more she can give cards andspades to any old band of mystical misfits on the top side the Earth."

  "But my _profession_, William, the obligations ofOne--Who--Aspires--To--Know are--are--simply immense, and in myprofession--"

  "O, hang your profession--a couple of minutes anyway," interrupted theman at the fountain, "and come along. You're not going to shakeKankakee till you've seen my Very Best--the finest Chicago brand, thehighest flyer this side your celestial belt. What d'ye say, andwhat'll you have?" and Bill Vanderhook looked anxiously into theother's face while his hand sought the "sweet cream" spigot.

  "And if I consent," finally murmured the Occultist, now toyingmechanically with the long handled spoon, "If I consent," he repeatedin a weird monotone--his eyes following the process of a Lowball--"andlook upon WOMAN--should I look upon her you would call your own,remember, Bill, that _you_ assume _my_ responsibility, and that upon_your_ head will rest the consequences of _my mad act_. Upon _you_must descend the penalties of my violation of the First Degree."

  "I'll go you," recklessly responded the young druggist, as he shovedthe frothing fluid across the marble slab--"only let's get a move."

  Alonzo Leffingwell's right hand closed vaguely but firmly upon thehandle of the drinking-cup. With an air of utter indifference hepoured the questionable compound into his system. Then his left handsought his vest pocket--tentatively.

  The Vanderhook drug store once more stood the treat.

  Since infancy these two young men had been inseparable chums. The lawof opposites had been satisfied. It had attracted and welded theaffections of the stout, stocky, rosy and roystering Bill Vanderhookand the pale, pensive and passive Alonzo Leffingwell.

  Bill's voice in babyhood was loud, resonant and cheerful, whileLonnie's was low, limpid and languid. In youth Bill's eyes, big, boldand black, had seemed continually searching for the hidden andforbidden things of fruit closet and melon patch. Contrawise, Lonnie'sorbs, mild, misty and luminous, seemed forever scanning theunsatisfying deeps of space.

  While nature seemed to have constructed Bill Vanderhook for ashort-stop or a half-back, it had reserved Alonzo Leffingwell for thehigher arts of mystical mysteries.

  On attaining his majority Bill consulted with his father and accepteda partnership in the paternal pharmacy. Alonzo consulted with himself,determined upon mysticism and cut loose from parental guidance. Uponthis he resigned, as humorist of the _Daily Clarion_, and set out uponthe path of wisdom.

  About the same time that Bill turned from bats to bottles and gave upthe kicking of balls for the rolling of pills, Alonzo laid down hispen, took up his crystal and immured himself in his bedroom.

  Naturally, the exactions of these widely differing occupations tendedmore and more to separate the two young men.

  To Bill Vanderhook it meant an active daily life and a perpetualhustle in holding his father's trade and reaching out for theincrease. It meant for him a frequent dip in the social swim, andgreat popularity among those who attended "functions" and presided atChafing Dishes.

  To Alonzo, his decision to become a "Wise Man" cut him out of prettynearly everything in the town. It meant renunciation of all social andsentimental diversions of Kankakee. While upon the Druggist were fixedthe obligations of citizenship which rooted him in his ancestral home,to the Mystic it meant only obscuration and retirement.

  While Bill was now joyously "taking stock" and setting up new showcases, Mr. Leffingwell, in obedience to his "Higher Self," was packinghis grip for India.

  For he who aspires to the state of Gnanum must seek a more adequateasylum than that of Kankakee.

  Alonzo was now well up in Yogum.

  He approached Gnanum.

  He apprehended the ALL.

  Against all this Bill had violently protested. "Cut out thisfoolishness, and get the bats out of your belfry. Come," he implored,"and clerk for me. This is the Leader in Kankakee, and when you learnthe business I'll make you my Pardner. Now what's the matter withTHAT?"

  "Pouf! _Piff_! PELF!"--and Alonzo had shuddered as he thus expressedin a musical crescendo his repulsion for trade. At the mere mention ofthe Drug Store, or the Stock, this Prophet's apprentice might havebeen seen to curl his mustache with disdain.

  He was strangely indifferent to the possible profits of the show-caseand the soda fountain.

  Once he had asked, with something akin to vitality in his tone, "Howcan you, Bill, consent to spend the whole of your earthly life in theweighing, measuring and compounding of cold, inert forms of matter?"

  "And how can you," Bill had retorted in immeasurable disgust, "how canyou consent to spend your life in heathendom, roosting on top of apost for forty years, till your fingers grow through your fists? Andmore," he continued loudly, "I'll have you remember that these samecold, inert forms of matter stand for big, warm and lively DOLLARS.D'ye hear me, Mr. Dyanzy Chooanzy? While you're munchin' raw fodderand meditatin' in mouldy caves on the manifold mysteries of mankind,I'll be livin' up to the Queen's taste in Kankakee--swellfront--mansard roof--stunning wife--bank stock--and--who knows--butthe legislature or Congress or even"--and Bill paused modestly beforenominating himself to the Presidency.

  Alonzo vouchsafed no reply.

  He only gazed at his companion with the wide, meaningless smile of onewho Knows--he--Knows.

  Then, shaking his head with vast, prophetic solemnity, he waved adieuand passed out--in impenetrable silence.

  This devotee had learned, as do all those who delight in the name"Mystic," that nothing is more effective than this vague, superiorsilence, when confronted with the crude practicalities of the"Unillumined."

  Then a truce prevailed between these erstwhile comrades until--theever to be expected--the Unexpected--happened.